HOW TO GET THE RESULTS YOU WANT FROM CUSTOMER SERVICE...

 Let's face it, dealing with customer service, especially with larger companies can be a daunting, even downright painful experience.  While there are still a handful of companies left that actually take pride in their commitment to customer satisfaction, sadly many more simply use their Agents as a line of defense to run interference between you -the customer- and the decision makers within the corporation. 

Effective communication is key when it comes to dealing with customer service, and that means doing your homework before you pick up the phone and start screaming at the poor soul on the other end.  Now we have all had the pleasure of dealing with the outsourced call center.  No matter what, it's important to keep your cool.  No matter how angry you may be, there's a very good chance that the person who's fielding your call didn't cause your problem. There is a good chance however, that they can route you to the person who can help.  Here are a few easy to follow guidelines to help you navigate through the labyrinth of customer service.

Let's begin with what not to do:

Now the list could potentially go on and on here, but I am only going to highlight the top three no-no's for the purposes of this article. 

1.  Profanity  No matter how badly you want to eviscerate the Person on the other end, using profanity is a great way to ensure that you will only get the runaround or disconnected.  Keep in mind that Companies often record incoming calls, so there will not only be a record of your little tirade, but you can bet the "next available agent" will have access to any notes from your prior calls with just a keystroke.  Curse one out, and chances are you'll be talking to their lunch buddy when you call back.

2.  Threats.  This never works. We live in an overly litigious society, and people have become desensitized to the invocation of "You're going to hear from my Lawyer" It's totally cliche and just sounds stupid. If you want to pay Five or Six Hundred bucks an hour to have a Professional Litigator have a few incorrect charges removed from your cell phone bill....well you are an idiot.  Even though it should be common sense, I will mention here that is also equally stupid to make any threats of bodily harm etc...

3.  Demand to speak to the President.  It's okay to ask to speak to a Supervisor if you're not satisfied with the way the Representative is handling your issue.  Rest assured however, that asking to speak to the company president or CEO right out of the gate will often get you a flat out refusal.  Keep in mind if you are dealing with a outsourced call center, it's highly likely that the person you're speaking with won't even know the name of the CEO, let alone have any means of contacting him or her.

What you should do:

1.  Be prepared.  Get all of our paperwork, receipts, serial numbers, previous case numbers etc...together prior to your call.  The more organized you are, the more likely you'll be to streamline the process and not waste time sifting through drawers looking for that damn information.

2.  Have a notebook handy.  This is a very important and often overlooked step.  As soon as the Representative greets you, write down his/her name!  I cannot stress this enough.  You can be disconnected, mistreated, whatever...being able to identify the person whom you spoke to is crucial.  Some companies do not require their customer service reps to give their last name.  Don't sweat it.  Just be certain to get the person's first name and direct extension if possible.  It's always better to call back and be able to say that you were dealing with Jane in accounting, instead of "I was talking to a Woman with a deep voice."

3.  Be courteous.  Yes, of course you want to kill them, but kill them with kindness.  Remember your manners here, no matter how impatient you may be.  You want to be a cooperative as possible with the Representative, remember they deal with dozens of irate people on any given day, standing out for being exceptionally civil might just get you a favor. 

4.  Research.  Like I mentioned earlier, doing your homework is probably the single most important thing you can do when it comes to escalated customer service issues.  The best way to avoid the song and dance from someone with no authority is to circumvent them altogether, and plead your case to the decision makers.  There's a wealth of free information out there about companies and the Executives at the helm.  You can find email addresses, executive customer service numbers, and contact information for who can best handle escalated issues within any given organization.

5.  Outsource.  It can be difficult to find the time to deal with customer service.  If you're not confident in your communication skills, enlist the help of a friend or relative who may be more comfortable handling such situations.  Note, that you may need to give the Representative permission to speak to someone acting on your behalf.  Some companies, e.g. banks, etc.. will not do this for security purposes.

Successful companies realize that good customer service drives sales and in turn, profits.  Don't give up and make sure your voice is heard.  If you're calm and prepared, it will be easy to reach a mutually agreeable resolution.  


If you have experienced a serious issue with customer service, consider reaching out to The Department of Consumer Affairs, the Better Business Bureau is best reserved for smaller disputes.  In addition, there are professionals out there who can help.  Most issues can be turned around with just a few common sense measures and a positive attitude.  Good luck, and feel free to share your story!

The Good Ol' Days...

When I was a Kid, we still had cords on our telephones.  I remember rotary dial phones, Atari, arcades.  Hell, I even remember playing on surfaces that would be deemed potentially lethal by today's standards.  When I was in elementary school, they filled the voids under the monkey bars with gravel so jagged, it was just shy of broken glass.  We survived.

Kids today are pussies. We played dodge ball, kickball, full contact football (which always seemed to degenerate into "Kill the carrier" when I got the ball) and we were better for it. There was nothing better than playing dodge ball on a wet fall afternoon and hearing the crack of that ball as it shot through space and bitch-slapped the kid across from you in the face. And you better believe that if the teacher wasn't looking, we always aimed for the face. When it was your turn, you did your best to laugh that sting off in order to save face in front of your buddies who would relish any opportunity to laugh at your pain. Your eyes would water and the letters V-O-I-T were clearly visible on your face, but you sucked it up and got back in the game.  We didn't wear knee pads or helmets, and we built jumps for our bikes with pieces of plywood and cement blocks. I remember riding my bike next to a friend one time; I managed to fall off and my hand found it's way into his spinning spokes.  Naturally, my buddy kept peddling as the skin was peeled off my hand and my finger nail was ripped off.  My hand looked like I stuck it in a blender.  So we went to this older couples house that my buddy knew just a few houses back on the road and the lady was kind enough to let me wash my hand off in her kitchen sink. Then out came the Bactine.  That's right, we put Bactine on our boo boos in those days.  For those of you who don't know, using Bactine was the equivalent of pouring Clorox mixed with rock salt into a gunshot wound.  Shortly thereafter, we arrived back at my house where my Mother took one look at my mangled hand and yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet.

We didn't have cell phones, and we knew it was time to come inside when it got dark.  We played with toy guns that looked like the real thing, and they were even cooler if they actually fired a projectile. There was no such thing as ADHD, back then we called it a sugar high.  We got that because we drank soda and ingested pixie sticks, most often together until that Mikey kid blew himself to pieces by eating pop rocks and Coke at the same time.  That shit was serious.  We liked cool cars from TV shows like the General Lee, K.I.T. from Knight Rider and Magnum's Ferrari.  Now the more your car sounds like a genetically mutated monster mosquito the more bad ass you are.

Kids were just tougher back then.  I remember Johnny (Last name redacted for fear he is still out there somewhere), the toughest kid in school.  I was in Kindergarten and he was in 5th grade.  He smoked cigarettes on the school bus, listened to Quiet Riot and would punch you in the stomach just for looking at Him the wrong way.  It was understood among all the neighborhood Kids that he lived alone, in a old brick house in the neighborhood, we always surmised that He had killed his Parents.  I once promised him 10 packs of bubble gum if he would spare me a beating.  True to form he showed up a my house later that day to collect.  I was so afraid that I asked my Dad to answer the door, and Johnny wanted to fight my Father.

We gave each other Charlie Horses, Frog Eyes, and Snake Bites.  We played in the mud, rain, and even went outside without sunblock. When we fought, we didn't "Use our words" we used our fists and when it was done we shook hands....we didn't go to counseling.  We rose for the pledge of allegiance and sang America the beautiful when I was a Kid.  Life seemed to be so much less complicated back then.

Random Thoughts on The Facebook Generation...

In keeping with the spirit of my original intent for this "blog", I have decided to rant about what I affectionately refer to as the Facebook generation.  I don't get you.  I don't think anyone could deny the powerful and even positive impact that Social media has had on our society, and yet I can't help but wonder about the darker side of the whole thing.  I have witnessed so many melodramas play out on Facebook for the whole world to see, it makes me sick.  I don't know what's worse, the people that post their most intimate details and the subtle nuances of every little lover's quarrel they get in, or the people who hang on each and every word, relishing the unfolding nonsense as if their own lives somehow depended on it.  Risking hypocrisy, I admit that I have followed the odd diatribe playing out on walls of acquaintances.  But nonetheless, I find the whole thing just a bit too personal for my taste.

Is it really necessary to share everything with the masses?  Perhaps it provides some sort of cathartic release to vent to the entire world about how you're having a bad day or how Billy-Bob didn't tell you your hair looked nice this morning.  Maybe it's commiserating with the circle of friends who immediately "Like" the post and then take it upon themselves to chime in offering their own commentary on what would normally be none of their business.

Then of course there are the stalkers.  These poor pathetic creatures spend their time rummaging through the pages of Exes, looking for every little flaw they can find with the life their ex partner has created in their absence, and contemplating what could have been.

So life is filled with choices, and God knows I have made a lot of poor ones.  But witnessing some of the romance dramas that play out on Facebook, it makes me realize just how lucky I am to be with the Woman I've got. Definitely made the right choice there.

Little change of pace...

To be honest I have absolutely no idea what direction I want to take with this whole "Blogging" thing.  On the one hand, I thought that it would be a great medium from which to rant about or otherwise complain about whatever stuck in my craw on any given day, a proverbial soapbox of sorts.  I suppose there will be plenty of those posts, but I think that a least for the time being, this place is just going to be a repository for whatever and whenever.  

So.....in light of the preceding disclaimer, here a just a few interesting pics that I ran across yesterday. 

 

I think that this is one of the best names that I have ever seen.  

The Label says it all !

So I thought this one was a little odd...and then I thought, I would eat that cereal.  But then, I wondered what the hell that guy was holding in his hand?  I think it's a Banana.

I think I saved the best for last. The look on the girl's face is priceless!

Sullivan Ballou Letter...

Perhaps one of the most eloquently written letters I have ever read.  Great story behind this letter.


July 14, 1861
Camp Clark, Washington

My very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days—perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more . . .

I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the Government and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution. And I am willing—perfectly willing—to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt . . .

Sarah my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all these chains to the battle field.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them for so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood, around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me—perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar, that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness . . .

But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and in the darkest nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again . . .

Sullivan Ballou was killed a week later at the first Battle of Bull Run, July 21, 1861.

Born March 28, 1829 in Smithfield, R.I., Ballou was educated at Phillips Academy in Andover, Mass.; Brown University in Providence, R.I. and the National Law School in Ballston, N.Y. He was admitted to the Rhode Island Bar in 1853.

Ballou devoted his brief life to public service. He was elected in 1854 as clerk of the Rhode Island House of Representatives, later serving as its speaker.
He married Sarah Hart Shumway on October 15, 1855, and the following year saw the birth of their first child, Edgar. A second son, William, was born in 1859.
Ballou immediately entered the military in 1861 after the war broke out. He became judge advocate of the Rhode Island militia and was 32 at the time of his death at the first Battle of Bull Run on July 21, 1861.

When he died, his wife was 24. She later moved to New Jersey to live out her life with her son, William, and never re-married. She died at age 80 in 1917.
Sullivan and Sarah Ballou are buried next to each other at Swan Point Cemetery in Providence, RI. There are no known living descendants.

Ironically, Sullivan Ballou’s letter was never mailed. Although Sarah would receive other, decidedly more upbeat letters, dated after the now-famous letter from the battlefield, the letter in question would be found among Sullivan Ballou’s effects when Gov. William Sprague of Rhode Island traveled to Virginia to retrieve the remains of his state’s sons who had fallen in battle.

Bobby Kennedy...

"There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why...I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" -Robert F. Kennedy Always liked this.

Working on it...

Wise Man.......still haven't quite figured out the WHY.